EHLO
A parody of Hello by Adele
A heartbroken SMTP client serenades an unresponsive mail server in this Adele-flavored ballad about EHLO greetings, 4xx temporary deferrals, and TLS negotiation gone wrong. Equal parts protocol primer and breakup anthem, it teaches the mechanics of SMTP handshakes and bounce code interpretation through the universal language of being left on read.
5:08
Duration
Verse 1
EHLO, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd answer me
To go over EHLO strings
They say that four-ex-ex will retry ya
But I ain't seen no retry yet
EHLO, can you hear me?
I'm at the client, sending commands like I'm supposed to be
When we were young and free
I've forgotten how it felt before you dropped the TCP
Pre-Chorus
There's such a difference between us
And your policy
Chorus
EHLO from the other side
I must've tried a thousand times
To send you MAIL FROM and R.C.P.T.
But when I try, you never seem to agree
EHLO from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To start up TLS and negotiate
But it don't matter, you clearly won't answer me anymore
Verse 2
EHLO, how are you?
It's so typical of me to speak first in SMTP
I hope that you're well
Did you ever clear your rate-limit wall
Where nothing gets delivered?
Pre-Chorus
It's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time
Chorus
So EHLO from the other side (Other side)
I must've tried a thousand times (Thousand times)
To send you MAIL FROM and R.C.P.T.
But when I try, you never seem to agree
EHLO from the outside (Outside)
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To start up TLS and negotiate
But it don't matter, you clearly won't answer me anymore
Bridge
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows) Ooh, four-oh-one
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows) Ooh, five-five-oh
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows) Ooh, transient
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows) Permanent
Final Chorus
EHLO from the other side (Other side)
I must've tried a thousand times (Thousand times)
To send you MAIL FROM and R.C.P.T.
But when I try, you never seem to agree
EHLO from the outside (Outside)
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To start up TLS and negotiate
But it don't matter, you clearly won't answer me anymore
About This Song
This is a humorous parody of “Hello”. This work is intended as a parody for comedic purposes, created in the spirit of the “right to parody” recognized in France under Article L. 122-5 of the Intellectual Property Code. The goal is not to harm the original work, but to create a new, transformative, and comedic piece.
Original Credits
Song: “Hello” by Adele
Songwriter: Adele Adkins, Greg Kurstin
Producer: Greg Kurstin
© Original song rights to respective holders. No infringement intended.
Parody Work
Lyrics: Inbox Senders Club & AI
Music: AI